Learning As I Go

Mission number two—set a sleeping schedule

learningasigo21 — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:41:01 +0000

I’m a complete night person. Maybe it’s because I’m an introvert . There’s just something about night time that makes me feel more invincible than day time does. Even though I obviously know people can still see me, I feel like I’m able to hide more at night. I get a lot of my energy at night. The more and more I read about depression and getting ahead in life though, the more I see that having a proper sleeping schedule is highly advised. It might just be what I need to get myself back on track. They say “You snooze you lose” for a reason maybe there’s some truth to that quirky quote afterall. Maybe I should stop giving in to my nightly tendencies of staying up all night, getting up at random times in the morning, and not getting my required 7 or 8 hours of sleep. I know I should at least attempt this. So I’m starting tonight by going to bed at 11pm. Even if I feel lame for going to bed at a time I feel is too early for a Saturday night, I have to try this for at least 30 days. So if I go to bed at 11pm, I should give myself an hour before I actually fall asleep to make my waking up time 8am. Oh man, as I write this I’m already wondering how I will accomplish this! But I’m going to try!

Mission two’s plan to—setting a sleeping schedule

set alarm for 8:00 am
have a cup of chamomile tea at 10:00pm to help me unwind
get in bed by 11:00pm
read a book for 30 minutes
lights out at 11:30pm
stay in bed for as long as possible
if I toss and turn longer than 2 hours, switch side of bed to start over on trying to fall asleep (I read that your bed can easily become a place of frustration instead of a place for sleep if you toss and turn to o much. Many sources say to leave the bed for a few minutes but I’ve found that when I flip over to the other side of the bed, it usually does the trick)
No matter what, no matter how tired I am get up at 8:00am.
Continue every night for at least 30 days.

blogging overload

learningasigo21 — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:11:39 +0000

I’m blogging an awful lot today. Simply because this is stuff that has been on my mind for quite some time now . I have to get it out. So hoping that maybe by writing it on this blog, it will form to be some kind of accountability that will make me stick to doing the things I have been needing to do for longer than a day or two.

Mission One—get a job

learningasigo21 — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:08:26 +0000

I need to find ways to work on being happier. Getting back on my feet. Not being so afraid to get back in the working world and finally getting a job. With a job comes money. Money that can help me start living the life I’ve always envisioned. So as the weekend ends and Monday approaches I must think about where I can possibly work. I don’t have a degree yet so the chances of getting a job that I want are very slim. Especially in this economy! I have to settle for a job I don’t want. Maybe a retail job…but where. Where will I be the most comfortable place for me right now as I enter the working world for the first time in a long time? Where oh Where? See I haven’t had a permanent job in almost 3 years I’ve had jobs on and off because I’m simply too scared to keep them and go throughwith the uncomfortableness of them. And two because I hate the jobs I’ve had to settle for. I don’t know where this extreme high standard of a job came from. I’ve always been picky but lately it’s been immensely that I’m running out of ideas of places I could possibly apply at. Maybe it’s the fact that so many of my peers have mon thru fri jobs that I feel left out. That whole comparing myself to other people probably has some to do with it. I need to stop so picky. So I’m on to mission number One this Monday—GET A JOB!

Missions two’s plan for the week of February 23- 27—to getting a job

Do laundry today or tomorrow Sunday to have a couple of shirts to go with my khaki pants (the dressiest pants I have.)
Keep & attend my resume appointment at my college on Monday at 2pm. DON’T miss it
Check the bulletin after my appointment to look for any new job postings.
Go to the hospital and check up on the two positions I applied for online. See what they if to say and if it’s even an option.Keep checking craigslist on a daily basis.
Go to the flower shop to check up on my application.
Update my monster account with my new resume.

So what am I going to do

learningasigo21 — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 22:04:59 +0000

I really don’t know what I’m going to do to make my life better. As I sit here, I’m getting a huge reminder of how unhappy and unmotivated I am. No one’s home. I don’t have a job, which means I don’t have any money, I don’t have any plans for today, and my roommate, who’s ever so kindly has let me stay here for the past 6 months during this rough time, doesn’t come home till way late. So I’m not going to see a soul today. That’s how most of my days have been lately, minus the every now and then occasion when I ask for an application at a store. When I do get out in the real world I feel so anxious and have lost the little skills of socialness that I had. I’m uncomfortable more than ever now speaking with total strangers and hate when they ask me any questions about myself because I have nothing to share other than I’m unhappy. Not that I tell them that but that’s all I fell lately. And having to talk like everything is just rainbow and butterflies gets harder and harder to do as the more time goes on that I’m unhappy with my life. So I have to do something today, I think staying holed up in my apartment will only make me feel worse. It’s funny because I have alot of answers as to what can possibly help me get out of this rut but for some reason I don’t do them. Why is that? I think maybe it’s because I’ve been in this rut for so long, almost 3 years now, that I don’t know any different anymore.

Back Already—Ugh

learningasigo21 — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 21:46:33 +0000

Here I am posting already. I finally got off the internet after 3 or 4 hours of mindless surfing. I got off because I had plans to go to a Mardi Gra parade with a friend and her bf I have not seen in awhile. Only to read a text that her bf had the flu. My first thought was a sigh of relief actually. Not because I didn’t want to see my friend or go experience my first Mardi Gra themed parade but because I’m feeling unmotivated to do anything these days. I guess most would classify this as depressed but I feel that if I call it that, people will automatically count me out as a waste of time negative person. When all I want to be is happy but I have to figure out exactly what I steps I need to take to do just that. I’ve lost most of my zest for life. I no longer want to live this way and that is exactly why I started this blog, was to help myself get out of this unmotivated trap and start living the life I’ve always envisioned. The very reason I’m like this is because I haven’t been treating myself good and have let certain past life events affect me too much to function. I admit I have been negative but towards myself. I never feel like I’m good enough for anything really. I guess I have low self-esteem. This is something I want to overcome. It’s weird because deep down I know I’m good person who’s worthy but for some reason I can’t live that way. Ugh!

I’m here because…

learningasigo21 — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 18:56:02 +0000

…I want an outlet. An outlet to document my learning. My learning of treating myself better, accepting who I am, how to be comfortable around others, and just learning about life’ in general. All the in’s and outs. For as long as I can remember I have been hard on myself. I have a bad habit of comparing my myself and my life to others. Well, I want to STOP that! I want treat myself as good as I treat everyone else. I am worthy. I’m a good person with many great qualities. It’s about time I start treating myself like I was. Stop beating myself up and feeling bad about myself ALL the time. This blog is to document my journey in life! A journey where I hope to one day start living more healthier and happier. Where I learn to accept myself. Flaws and all. I allow myself to make mistakes and learn as I go. Because in making mistakes is where one learns how to be a better stronger person. I’ve held myself back for way too long. It’s my time to get out there and learn! Stop worrying about the what if’s and learn as I go.